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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Unless
Call
Anyone
Sure
Facts
Never
Baboon
Baboons

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Will Cuppy
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Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named in his honor, and you don't have galvanometers named after you merely for making a mistake about a frog.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
Will Cuppy
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Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
Will Cuppy
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My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
Will Cuppy
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The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.
Will Cuppy
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Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
Will Cuppy
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The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.
Will Cuppy
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Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it.
Will Cuppy
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The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.
Will Cuppy
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Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
Will Cuppy
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The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.
Will Cuppy
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.
Will Cuppy
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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
Will Cuppy
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
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To the seeing eye life is mostly Sparrows.
Will Cuppy
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The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
Will Cuppy