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Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

Will Cuppy

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Will Cuppy
Age: 65 †
Born: 1884
Born: August 23
Died: 1949
Died: September 19
Critic
Humorist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Writer
Auburn
Indiana
William Jacob Cuppy
Pretty
Beauty
Sliced
Running
Tomatoes
Wells
Sugar
Well
Puts
Think
Across
Thinking
Beginning
People
Somebody

More quotes by Will Cuppy

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Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!
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Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.
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Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.
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I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.
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It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.
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Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, Does this fish think? I would even ask others, Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think? And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.
Will Cuppy
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We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Will Cuppy
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Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.
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We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Will Cuppy
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If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side up, he will roll over to prove that he is dead... While he is playing dead, you can go straight up to him and step on his head or smash him with a big club.
Will Cuppy
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The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.
Will Cuppy
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[Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.
Will Cuppy
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I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.
Will Cuppy
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They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
Will Cuppy
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I borrow to pay my honest debts and not to squander foolishly. What's more, I confine my borrowing to those who can well afford it. I don't go around sponging on widows and orphans unless they have plenty.
Will Cuppy
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Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.
Will Cuppy
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Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
Will Cuppy
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If a cat does something, we call it instinct if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Will Cuppy
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The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.
Will Cuppy
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Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
Will Cuppy