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You must remember that the common criminal will always join the armed forces for, if nothing else, regular meals and expert training in the use of guns.

Warren Ellis

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Warren Ellis
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: February 16
Author
Blogger
Comics Artist
Comics Writer
Film Producer
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Short Story Writer
Writer
Warren Girard Ellis
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There was a time when I liked a good riot. Put on some heavy old street clothes that could stand a bit of sidewalk-scraping, infect myself with something good and contagious, then go out and stamp on some cops. It was great, being nine years old.
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I admit that I have sometimes claimed to be Batman in the past. But only when really, really drunk.
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What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?
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Tradition - one of those words conservative people use as a shortcut to thinking.
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You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.
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Unless you turn out to be a shining and ballistic genius, then, trust me, if you want to do this then you're going to be spending the next few years doing little else. This is a thing you do at a table with a notebook and a keyboard, and there's no getting away from it. Put in the hours. You don't get to turn off 'being a writer.'
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Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards.
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Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!
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Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.
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What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.
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Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!
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Journalism is just a gun. It’s only got one bullet in it, but if you aim right, that’s all you need. Aim it right, and you can blow a kneecap off the world.
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I was having a mildly paranoid day, mostly due to the fact that the mad priest lady from over the river had taken to nailing weasels to my front door again.
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That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.
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Stephen King says that if you forget an idea, then it can't have been any good. He means he, not you. You are not Stephen King. Do not attempt to emulate Stephen King at home.
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Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.
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Santa Monica's only walkable if death is no hurdle. The air's the wrong colour. People put sunglasses on their dogs. It's a hideous place where humans are not welcome and those who stay suffer eight kinds of brain damage.
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Its a strange world. Lets keep it that way.
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Cheap! But not as cheap as your girlfriend.
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By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.
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