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You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.

Wanda Sykes

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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Like
Treats
Disease
Comfortably
Goal
Fatal
Happy
Symptoms
Woman
Cure
Live
Cures
Trying
Illness
Make
Treat

More quotes by Wanda Sykes

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Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.
Wanda Sykes
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I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Wanda Sykes
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I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
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Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
Wanda Sykes
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All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
Wanda Sykes
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When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.
Wanda Sykes
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I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
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I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
Wanda Sykes
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Lot Of Strip Clubs in Florida... Good grief... Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole.
Wanda Sykes
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When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
Wanda Sykes
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What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
Wanda Sykes
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Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.
Wanda Sykes
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I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
Wanda Sykes
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We never hid anything from the kids. I feel whole again, I really do. I've told them, 'Mommy's boo-boo is much better now.'
Wanda Sykes
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Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
Wanda Sykes
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With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!
Wanda Sykes
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Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
Wanda Sykes
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But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes