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When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Every
Walk
Walks
Turns
Pedophile
Night
Sprint
Littles
Usual
Persons
Faster
Person
Tend
Little
Outside
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
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I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
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Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
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I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
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I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
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It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
Wanda Sykes
I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.
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I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
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When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
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As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
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I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
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If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
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I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.
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Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
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If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
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I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.
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I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
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I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.
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