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I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Stop
Luggage
Lasts
Checked
Last
Gate
Actually
Gates
Made
Twice
Every
Machine
Time
Machines
Security
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.
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Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
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The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'
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If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
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Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.
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If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.
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We got to stop doing that, ladies. You know, men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.
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It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
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You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.
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I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
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When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
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I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
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I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
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How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
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Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
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To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.
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And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
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Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
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I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
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I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.
Wanda Sykes
