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I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Actually
Gates
Made
Twice
Every
Machine
Time
Machines
Security
Stop
Luggage
Lasts
Checked
Last
Gate
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
Wanda Sykes
white criminals commit the biggest crimes.a brother might rob a bank. a white man will rob a pension fund. the brother is going to get ten to fifteen years because he had a gun. the white guy is going to get a congressional hearing because he had a job and a nice suit.
Wanda Sykes
I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.
Wanda Sykes
With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.
Wanda Sykes
I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.
Wanda Sykes
Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.
Wanda Sykes
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
Wanda Sykes
Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
Wanda Sykes
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
Wanda Sykes
I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.
Wanda Sykes
It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.
Wanda Sykes
I always want to go back and do stand-up I like the freedom.
Wanda Sykes
