Quote

My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.

Wanda Sykes

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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Making
Couldn
Come
Behinds
Behind
Cause
Blinds
Fun
Elvis
Told
Invited
Causes
Neighbor
Party
Busy

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I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
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People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
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I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.
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You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.
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I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
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If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
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Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
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I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
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Whatever I talk about is what I'm interested in at the time. Politics are big with me. But right now being a mom is taking up most of my time... My act is more family-oriented than it is about politics.
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Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
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Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.
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I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.
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When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
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There's times when I'm really shy, so these roles that I get to play, they're how I would love to really be. And that's why I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that's why it's my favorite thing to do.
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There are just so many more laws and rules that apply with marriage that do not come with domestic partnership and also to me it's the commitment.
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If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
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I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
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I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.
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