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You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Jobs
Complaints
Complaining
Americans
Taking
Economy
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More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
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I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.
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All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
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I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
Wanda Sykes
My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.
Wanda Sykes
Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.
Wanda Sykes
You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.
Wanda Sykes
Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
Wanda Sykes
I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
Wanda Sykes
If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Wanda Sykes
The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'
Wanda Sykes
I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.
Wanda Sykes
I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
Wanda Sykes
I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.
Wanda Sykes
I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
Wanda Sykes
I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
Wanda Sykes
Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
Wanda Sykes
