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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Thinking
Room
Fart
Like
Rooms
Freely
Leave
Gas
Wants
Host
Maybe
Lady
Able
Pass
Men
Writers
Think
Office
Dainty
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.
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What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
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When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.
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I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.
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When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
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I always want to go back and do stand-up I like the freedom.
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Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
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I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
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If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
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When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
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I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.
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I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
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Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
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I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
Wanda Sykes
I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.
Wanda Sykes
I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
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To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.
Wanda Sykes