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I always want to go back and do stand-up I like the freedom.

Wanda Sykes

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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Comedy
Stand
Freedom
Back
Always
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More quotes by Wanda Sykes

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It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
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I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.
Wanda Sykes
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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
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I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Wanda Sykes
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Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
Wanda Sykes
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But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
Wanda Sykes
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I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
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Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.
Wanda Sykes
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But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes
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As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
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How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
Wanda Sykes
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And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
Wanda Sykes
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Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
Wanda Sykes
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Being gay is harder than being black. I didn't have to come out black. I didn't have to tell my parents about what its like to be black.
Wanda Sykes
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Now, I think the people who are still doing stand-up are doing it because they love stand-up.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
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Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.
Wanda Sykes
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Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
Wanda Sykes