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It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Like
People
Downsizing
Fired
Kill
Comedy
Government
Hard
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
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What drives the creative person is that we see it all.
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I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.
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In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.
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I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.
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When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
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I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
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Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
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Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
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But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
Wanda Sykes
Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
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And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
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L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
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Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
Wanda Sykes
But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
Wanda Sykes
The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'
Wanda Sykes
We got to stop doing that, ladies. You know, men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.
Wanda Sykes
