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It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Fired
Kill
Comedy
Government
Hard
Like
People
Downsizing
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
Wanda Sykes
My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.
Wanda Sykes
I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
Wanda Sykes
L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
Wanda Sykes
I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.
Wanda Sykes
I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
Wanda Sykes
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
Wanda Sykes
Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
Wanda Sykes
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.
Wanda Sykes
That word sassy - it haunts me. I keep getting the sassy thing.
Wanda Sykes
When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
Wanda Sykes
I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Wanda Sykes
I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
Wanda Sykes
I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
Wanda Sykes
