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It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Kill
Comedy
Government
Hard
Like
People
Downsizing
Fired
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
Being gay is harder than being black. I didn't have to come out black. I didn't have to tell my parents about what its like to be black.
Wanda Sykes
Lot Of Strip Clubs in Florida... Good grief... Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole.
Wanda Sykes
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.
Wanda Sykes
All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
Wanda Sykes
I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
Wanda Sykes
white criminals commit the biggest crimes.a brother might rob a bank. a white man will rob a pension fund. the brother is going to get ten to fifteen years because he had a gun. the white guy is going to get a congressional hearing because he had a job and a nice suit.
Wanda Sykes
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
Wanda Sykes
L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
Wanda Sykes
I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic.
Wanda Sykes
I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!
Wanda Sykes
I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.
Wanda Sykes
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
Wanda Sykes
I feel today's society is so judgmental.
Wanda Sykes
I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.
Wanda Sykes
When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
Wanda Sykes