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It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Comedy
Government
Hard
Like
People
Downsizing
Fired
Kill
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.
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If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.
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Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.
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We got to stop doing that, ladies. You know, men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.
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I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
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There are just so many more laws and rules that apply with marriage that do not come with domestic partnership and also to me it's the commitment.
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Whatever I talk about is what I'm interested in at the time. Politics are big with me. But right now being a mom is taking up most of my time... My act is more family-oriented than it is about politics.
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When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
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If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
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It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
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As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
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Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
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I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
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I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
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Being gay is harder than being black. I didn't have to come out black. I didn't have to tell my parents about what its like to be black.
Wanda Sykes
I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay.
Wanda Sykes
Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.
Wanda Sykes
I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
Wanda Sykes
But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
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People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
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