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I'm really funny now.

Wanda Sykes

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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Funny
Really

More quotes by Wanda Sykes

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When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
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All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
Wanda Sykes
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I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
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I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.
Wanda Sykes
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Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
Wanda Sykes
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I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
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Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, Listen, you're not pregnant. I said, Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
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I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
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You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.
Wanda Sykes
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Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
Wanda Sykes
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I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
Wanda Sykes
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My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on.
Wanda Sykes
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I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
Wanda Sykes
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When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
Wanda Sykes
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I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Wanda Sykes
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That word sassy - it haunts me. I keep getting the sassy thing.
Wanda Sykes
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When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots.
Wanda Sykes
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If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Wanda Sykes