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I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!

Wanda Sykes

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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Trying
Going
Wanda
Million
Leave
Millions
Show
Jobs
Shows

More quotes by Wanda Sykes

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I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.
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I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
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I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.
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I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
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Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.
Wanda Sykes
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But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
Wanda Sykes
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Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, Listen, you're not pregnant. I said, Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.
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I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
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It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
Wanda Sykes
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People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
Wanda Sykes
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A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm really funny now.
Wanda Sykes
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I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
Wanda Sykes
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But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes
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Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.
Wanda Sykes
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When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
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I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked - our community was attacked. Now, I gotta get in their face. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman. And I'm proud to be gay.
Wanda Sykes
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I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
Wanda Sykes
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I watched a lot of comedy growing up.
Wanda Sykes