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L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Causes
Hate
Interferes
Nothing
Interfere
Damn
Driving
Bunch
Drinking
Cause
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
Wanda Sykes
I hate when women compare men to dogs. Men are not dogs. Dogs are loyal. I've never found any strange panties in my dog's house.
Wanda Sykes
Writers get to stay with the piece. They don't just turn the script in and somebody else takes it over and goes out and produces it and edits it and all that stuff. We stay with the piece all the way through.
Wanda Sykes
People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
Wanda Sykes
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
I had top-secret clearance and everything. I was working on a couple of projects that would keep me involved in Desert Storm. I was in the mix, which is scary.
Wanda Sykes
But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes
I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
Wanda Sykes
When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
Wanda Sykes
You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, Listen, you're not pregnant. I said, Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.
Wanda Sykes
I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.
Wanda Sykes
You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.
Wanda Sykes
But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.
Wanda Sykes
I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
Wanda Sykes
That word sassy - it haunts me. I keep getting the sassy thing.
Wanda Sykes
When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
Wanda Sykes
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.
Wanda Sykes
