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L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Driving
Bunch
Drinking
Cause
Causes
Hate
Interferes
Nothing
Interfere
Damn
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'
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What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
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All these teenagers tell us how much they want to grow up and then when they do they want to be young again.
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As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
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When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
Wanda Sykes
But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
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When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
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I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.
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A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
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I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked - our community was attacked. Now, I gotta get in their face. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman. And I'm proud to be gay.
Wanda Sykes
If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
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Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
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I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real.
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Men don't hear women.
Wanda Sykes
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
Wanda Sykes
Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
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You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.
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