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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Women
Today
Everything
Hated
Comedy
Else
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
Wanda Sykes
I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
Now, I think the people who are still doing stand-up are doing it because they love stand-up.
Wanda Sykes
I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.
Wanda Sykes
I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
Wanda Sykes
I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.
Wanda Sykes
I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, Listen, you're not pregnant. I said, Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.
Wanda Sykes
I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
Wanda Sykes
I always want to go back and do stand-up I like the freedom.
Wanda Sykes
Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
Wanda Sykes
I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun.
Wanda Sykes
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
Wanda Sykes
How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
Wanda Sykes
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
Writers get to stay with the piece. They don't just turn the script in and somebody else takes it over and goes out and produces it and edits it and all that stuff. We stay with the piece all the way through.
Wanda Sykes
