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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Comedy
Else
Women
Today
Everything
Hated
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
Some black people want to get in touch with their African roots. But then you got some black people that just don't give a damn. You tell them, 'Hey, I just got back from the motherland.' They're like, 'Where'd you go - Detroit? Did you see The Temptations?'
Wanda Sykes
I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.
Wanda Sykes
Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
Wanda Sykes
Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
Wanda Sykes
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes
There's times when I'm really shy, so these roles that I get to play, they're how I would love to really be. And that's why I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that's why it's my favorite thing to do.
Wanda Sykes
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
Wanda Sykes
I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!
Wanda Sykes
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
Wanda Sykes
Writers get to stay with the piece. They don't just turn the script in and somebody else takes it over and goes out and produces it and edits it and all that stuff. We stay with the piece all the way through.
Wanda Sykes
If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Wanda Sykes
Should I talk about [having breast cancer]? Because how many things could I have? You know black, lesbian - I'm like, I can't be the poster child for everything. At least with the LGBT issues we get a parade and a float and it's a party.
Wanda Sykes
I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.
Wanda Sykes
You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.
Wanda Sykes
I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.
Wanda Sykes
We got to stop doing that, ladies. You know, men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.
Wanda Sykes
Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.
Wanda Sykes