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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Hated
Comedy
Else
Women
Today
Everything
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Wanda Sykes
I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
Wanda Sykes
To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.
Wanda Sykes
I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
Wanda Sykes
How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
Wanda Sykes
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
Wanda Sykes
L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.
Wanda Sykes
I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
Wanda Sykes
I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
Wanda Sykes
I feel today's society is so judgmental.
Wanda Sykes
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
Wanda Sykes
If you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Wanda Sykes
Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
Wanda Sykes
You can't make a woman happy. That's like trying to cure a fatal disease. The goal is to treat the symptoms so you can comfortably live with the illness.
Wanda Sykes
Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
Wanda Sykes
Lot Of Strip Clubs in Florida... Good grief... Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to a brass pole.
Wanda Sykes
I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.
Wanda Sykes