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Seriously, I don't need a gun. I'm easily annoyed. I would shoot people in my house that I invited over.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
House
Need
Annoyed
Needs
Invited
Would
Shoot
People
Gun
Seriously
Easily
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.
Wanda Sykes
Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
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Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.
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I always had one goal, and that was to be a real funny stand-up comic, and that's pretty much what I'm doing. And everything else is kind of like gravy - TV, movies.
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Yeah, I had top-secret clearance and everything.
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If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
Wanda Sykes
Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
Wanda Sykes
What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
Wanda Sykes
Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.
Wanda Sykes
I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.
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I'm always thinking of stuff I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
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I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
Wanda Sykes
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
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I'm here today because I hated everything else.
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In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.
Wanda Sykes
It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
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I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.
Wanda Sykes
I think the worst one [indian mascot] is the Cleveland Indians' Big Chief Wahoo. It's just a red face on a baseball with a big, toothy grin. It's the Sambo of all other offensive mascots. I have never seen a Native American smile that hard before, not even at a casino opening.
Wanda Sykes
Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
Wanda Sykes
When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
Wanda Sykes
