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A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
Wanda Sykes
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Wanda Sykes
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 7
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Portsmouth
Virginia
Wanda Sykes-Hall
Wanda Yvette Sykes
Wanda Yvette Sykes-Hall
Laughing
Comedy
Everybody
Guy
Woman
Pitch
Nothing
Joke
Would
Jokes
Laugh
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
white criminals commit the biggest crimes.a brother might rob a bank. a white man will rob a pension fund. the brother is going to get ten to fifteen years because he had a gun. the white guy is going to get a congressional hearing because he had a job and a nice suit.
Wanda Sykes
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
Wanda Sykes
I'm here today because I hated everything else.
Wanda Sykes
I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!
Wanda Sykes
Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
Wanda Sykes
I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.
Wanda Sykes
Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.
Wanda Sykes
I'm really funny now.
Wanda Sykes
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
Wanda Sykes
I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.
Wanda Sykes
With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.
Wanda Sykes
My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on.
Wanda Sykes
Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, Listen, you're not pregnant. I said, Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit.
Wanda Sykes
It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
Wanda Sykes
Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.
Wanda Sykes
I have a well-balanced show. It's 50/50 on men/women, and also African-American/white writers, it's the same thing. I have four African-American writers, and four non-African-American writers.
Wanda Sykes
You know what, I think maybe it's because men like to fart, and the host wants to be able to sit in his writers' room and just pass gas freely. Me, I'm a lady. I'm dainty. I know to get up and leave the room and go to my office.
Wanda Sykes
My neighbor, she invited me to an Elvis party. I told her I couldn't come 'cause I'd be too busy making fun of her from behind my blinds.
Wanda Sykes
I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
Wanda Sykes
But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
Wanda Sykes
