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I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

Walter Matthau

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Walter Matthau
Age: 79 †
Born: 1920
Born: October 1
Died: 2000
Died: July 1
Actor
Character Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Stage Actor
Television Actor
New York City
New York
Walter John Matthow
Fart
Smallest
Entire
Talent
Body

More quotes by Walter Matthau

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I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.
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I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.
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I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.
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Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.
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My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.
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The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.
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To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.
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It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.
Walter Matthau
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You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest.
Walter Matthau
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I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.
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My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
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Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.
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There's no such thing as 'too late!' That's why they invented death!
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We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?
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Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.
Walter Matthau