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My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Walter Matthau
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Walter Matthau
Age: 79 †
Born: 1920
Born: October 1
Died: 2000
Died: July 1
Actor
Character Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Stage Actor
Television Actor
New York City
New York
Walter John Matthow
Life
Medicine
Doctors
Hilarious
Gave
Tranquility
Couldn
Witty
Pay
Doctor
Months
Bill
Funny
Bills
Live
Six
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I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.
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Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.
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I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.
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My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldnt afford to pay the eight dollars a month.
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I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.
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I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.
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We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?
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I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
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