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I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two I can tell a woman's age in half a minute--and I do

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Half
Entertaining
Woman
Manners
Tell
Fascinating
Two
Prejudice
Chuckle
Thing
Minute
Chuckles
Minutes
Sneer
Everybody
Celebrated
Age
Irritating

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Utopia's quite another land In her enterprising movements, She is England--with improvements
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If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.
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When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling And listen to the merry village chime.
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Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon, If you listen to popular rumour From morning to night he's so joyous and bright, And he bubbles with wit and good humour!
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See how the Fates their gifts allot, For A is happy-B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A.
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Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy We're very wide awake The Moon and I.
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All bayonets are bad.
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In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you'll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one's anybody!
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He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.
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When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.
W. S. Gilbert
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Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that forever.
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The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
W. S. Gilbert
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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have and I think he's a dirty little beast.
W. S. Gilbert
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When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
W. S. Gilbert
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For duty, duty must be done The rule applies to everyone.
W. S. Gilbert
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I often think it's comical How Nature always does contrive That every boy and every gal That's born into the world alive Is either a little Liberal Or else a little Conservative!
W. S. Gilbert
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When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans.
W. S. Gilbert
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A popular speaker, however unpopular and insignificant, has only to wind up his speech with half-a-dozen lines of Shakespeare (and to make it clearly understood that they are Shakespeare's) and he will sit down amid thunders of applause.
W. S. Gilbert
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I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!
W. S. Gilbert
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Who knows but we may count among our intellectual chickens Like them an Earl of Thackeray and p'raps a Duke of Dickens
W. S. Gilbert