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I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two I can tell a woman's age in half a minute--and I do

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Tell
Fascinating
Two
Prejudice
Chuckle
Thing
Minute
Chuckles
Minutes
Sneer
Everybody
Celebrated
Age
Irritating
Half
Entertaining
Woman
Manners

More quotes by W. S. Gilbert

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Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses, Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces.
W. S. Gilbert
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A popular speaker, however unpopular and insignificant, has only to wind up his speech with half-a-dozen lines of Shakespeare (and to make it clearly understood that they are Shakespeare's) and he will sit down amid thunders of applause.
W. S. Gilbert
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every Jack He must study the knack If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
W. S. Gilbert
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Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
W. S. Gilbert
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When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.
W. S. Gilbert
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No good play is a success fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.
W. S. Gilbert
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I often think it's comical How Nature always does contrive That every boy and every gal That's born into the world alive Is either a little Liberal Or else a little Conservative!
W. S. Gilbert
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When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans.
W. S. Gilbert
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I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
W. S. Gilbert
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Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes! Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses!
W. S. Gilbert
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Let the punishment fit the crime.
W. S. Gilbert
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Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
W. S. Gilbert
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I am the Captain of the Pinafore And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
W. S. Gilbert
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If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!
W. S. Gilbert
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In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you'll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one's anybody!
W. S. Gilbert
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Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon, If you listen to popular rumour From morning to night he's so joyous and bright, And he bubbles with wit and good humour!
W. S. Gilbert
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Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.
W. S. Gilbert
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A man is but an ass Who fights in a cuirass
W. S. Gilbert
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After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power.
W. S. Gilbert
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Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean!
W. S. Gilbert