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I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two I can tell a woman's age in half a minute--and I do

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Age
Irritating
Half
Entertaining
Woman
Manners
Tell
Fascinating
Two
Prejudice
Chuckle
Thing
Minute
Chuckles
Minutes
Sneer
Everybody
Celebrated

More quotes by W. S. Gilbert

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In all the woes that curse our race there is a lady in the case.
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Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses, Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces.
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I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.
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When you are lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is tabooed by anxiety, I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in without impropriety.
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Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean!
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When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling And listen to the merry village chime.
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Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.
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Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.
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And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist-- I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not be missed!
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every Jack He must study the knack If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
W. S. Gilbert
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He led his regiment from behind. He found it less exciting.
W. S. Gilbert
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Life is a joke that's just begun.
W. S. Gilbert
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Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon.
W. S. Gilbert
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The Law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent it has no kind of fault or flaw and I, my Lords, embody the Law.
W. S. Gilbert
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Roll on, thou ball, roll on! Through pathless realms of Space, Roll on!
W. S. Gilbert
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If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.
W. S. Gilbert
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My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
W. S. Gilbert
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Bind up their wounds - but look the other way.
W. S. Gilbert
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As is gloriously sung in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta H.M.S. Pinafore, in the words of W. S. Gilbert: Things are seldom as they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.
W. S. Gilbert