Quote

If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
France
Crown
Smile
Crack
Chance
Sage
Half
Crowns
Jests
May
Wages
Imported
Cracks
Sages
Orthodox
Bland
Stopped
Smack

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Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.
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He led his regiment from behind. He found it less exciting.
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The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
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Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes! Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses!
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My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
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When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.
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See how the Fates their gifts allot, For A is happy-B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A.
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What though I cannot meet my bills? What though I suffer toothache's ills? What though I swallow countless pills?
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I shall carry to the Catacombs of Age, Photographically lined On the tablet of my mind
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Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that forever.
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Posterity shall know of me even less than I shall know of posterity.
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I am the very model of a modern major general
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every Jack He must study the knack If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
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Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold, And the mate of the Nancybrig, And a bos'sun tight, and a midshipmite, And the crew of the captain's gig!
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poverty is obsolete and hunger is abolished
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I am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to kiss your hand: Try to combine a pose imperious With a demeanour nobly bland.
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If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.
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When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
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