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If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Stopped
Smack
France
Crown
Smile
Crack
Chance
Sage
Half
Crowns
Jests
May
Wages
Imported
Cracks
Sages
Orthodox
Bland

More quotes by W. S. Gilbert

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Man is nature's sole mistake.
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If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist--all other kinds are sham. Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow creatures, I endeavor to correct.
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The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
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Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that forever.
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Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest: Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers: Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest, And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!
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In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you'll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one's anybody!
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To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block.
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Faint heart never won fair lady! Nothing venture, nothing win Blood is thick, but water's thin In for a penny, in for a pound It's Love that makes the world go 'round!
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Posterity will know as little of me as I know of posterity.
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The Law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent it has no kind of fault or flaw and I, my Lords, embody the Law.
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Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise.
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When Wellington thrashed Bonaparte, As every child can tell, The House of Peers, throughout the war, Did nothing in particular, And did it very well
W. S. Gilbert
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In all the woes that curse our race there is a lady in the case.
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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A policeman's lot is not a happy one
W. S. Gilbert
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poverty is obsolete and hunger is abolished
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Who knows but we may count among our intellectual chickens Like them an Earl of Thackeray and p'raps a Duke of Dickens
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Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.
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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have and I think he's a dirty little beast.
W. S. Gilbert
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After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power.
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