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If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Stopped
Smack
France
Crown
Smile
Crack
Chance
Sage
Half
Crowns
Jests
May
Wages
Imported
Cracks
Sages
Orthodox
Bland

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Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes! Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses!
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So I fell in love with a rich attorney's Elderly ugly daughter.
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Life's perhaps the only riddle That we shrink from giving up.
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A man is but an ass Who fights in a cuirass
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Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.
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Strike the concertina's melancholy string! Blow the spirit-stirring harp like any thing! Let the piano's martial blast Rouse the Echoes of the Past
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The happiest hour a sailor sees Is when he's down At an inland town, With his Nancy on his knees, yo ho! And his arm around her waist!
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I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.
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What though I cannot meet my bills? What though I suffer toothache's ills? What though I swallow countless pills?
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I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.
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When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
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You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases of complicated state of mind. The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle chatter of a transcendental kind.
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Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.
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The Law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent it has no kind of fault or flaw and I, my Lords, embody the Law.
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Posterity shall know of me even less than I shall know of posterity.
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After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power.
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.
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When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling And listen to the merry village chime.
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I am the Captain of the Pinafore And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
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He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.
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