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On my face extended flat I was walloped with a cat For listening at the key-hole of the door.
W. S. Gilbert
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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Listening
Flats
Face
Hole
Faces
Holes
Cat
Door
Keys
Discipline
Extended
Doors
Flat
More quotes by W. S. Gilbert
I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer, I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two I can tell a woman's age in half a minute--and I do
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When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.
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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have and I think he's a dirty little beast.
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Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest: Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers: Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest, And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!
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There's fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it.
W. S. Gilbert
Man is nature's sole mistake.
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I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.
W. S. Gilbert
If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to provoke Him to give you, at once, a month's warning.
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I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.
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The happiest hour a sailor sees Is when he's down At an inland town, With his Nancy on his knees, yo ho! And his arm around her waist!
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I shall carry to the Catacombs of Age, Photographically lined On the tablet of my mind
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.
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It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.
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I am the Captain of the Pinafore And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
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When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.
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Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy We're very wide awake The Moon and I.
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To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block.
W. S. Gilbert
Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.
W. S. Gilbert
I know everybody's income and what everybody earns, And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns
W. S. Gilbert
Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that forever.
W. S. Gilbert
