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On my face extended flat I was walloped with a cat For listening at the key-hole of the door.
W. S. Gilbert
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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Face
Hole
Faces
Holes
Cat
Door
Keys
Discipline
Extended
Doors
Flat
Listening
Flats
More quotes by W. S. Gilbert
My object all sublime I shall achieve in time- To let the punishment fit the crime- The punishment fit the crime.
W. S. Gilbert
When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.
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Bless your heart, they don't mind--they're exceedingly kind-- They don't blame you--as long as you're funny!
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Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean!
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You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases of complicated state of mind. The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle chatter of a transcendental kind.
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If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!
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I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.
W. S. Gilbert
Who knows but we may count among our intellectual chickens Like them an Earl of Thackeray and p'raps a Duke of Dickens
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I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.
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Man is nature's sole mistake.
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Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
W. S. Gilbert
When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.
W. S. Gilbert
All bayonets are bad.
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.
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When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans.
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It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.
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Utopia's quite another land In her enterprising movements, She is England--with improvements
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If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist--all other kinds are sham. Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow creatures, I endeavor to correct.
W. S. Gilbert
I know everybody's income and what everybody earns, And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns
W. S. Gilbert
I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother.
W. S. Gilbert
