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If I can wheedle A knife or a needle, Why not a Silver Churn?

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Churn
Needle
Needles
Knife
Knives
Silver
Imagination

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A man is but an ass Who fights in a cuirass
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As is gloriously sung in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta H.M.S. Pinafore, in the words of W. S. Gilbert: Things are seldom as they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream.
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When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
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No good play is a success fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.
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Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon.
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Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean!
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So I fell in love with a rich attorney's Elderly ugly daughter.
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poverty is obsolete and hunger is abolished
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Faint heart never won fair lady! Nothing venture, nothing win Blood is thick, but water's thin In for a penny, in for a pound It's Love that makes the world go 'round!
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Strike the concertina's melancholy string! Blow the spirit-stirring harp like any thing! Let the piano's martial blast Rouse the Echoes of the Past
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Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns.
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Roll on, thou ball, roll on! Through pathless realms of Space, Roll on!
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See how the Fates their gifts allot, For A is happy-B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A.
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Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes! Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses!
W. S. Gilbert
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
W. S. Gilbert
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Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold, And the mate of the Nancybrig, And a bos'sun tight, and a midshipmite, And the crew of the captain's gig!
W. S. Gilbert
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Life's a pudding full of plums.
W. S. Gilbert
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There's fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it.
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The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.
W. S. Gilbert
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If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!
W. S. Gilbert