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I am the very model of a modern major general

W. S. Gilbert

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W. S. Gilbert
Age: 74 †
Born: 1836
Born: November 18
Died: 1911
Died: May 29
Dramatist
Illustrator
Librettist
Playwright
Poet
Screenwriter
Theatrical Director
Writer
London
England
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert
William Schwenck Gilbert
William S. Gilbert
William Schwenk Gilbert
Bab
Bab Gilbert
William Gilbert
Majors
Major
Models
General
Modern
Gansey
Minerals
Calculus
Model

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I am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to kiss your hand: Try to combine a pose imperious With a demeanour nobly bland.
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And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist-- I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not be missed!
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My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.
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Posterity shall know of me even less than I shall know of posterity.
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In the discovery of secret things and in the investigation of hidden causes, stronger reasons are obtained from sure experiments and demonstrated arguments than from probable conjectures and the opinions of philosophical speculators of the common sort.
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If I can wheedle A knife or a needle, Why not a Silver Churn?
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Utopia's quite another land In her enterprising movements, She is England--with improvements
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To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block.
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I often think it's comical How Nature always does contrive That every boy and every gal That's born into the world alive Is either a little Liberal Or else a little Conservative!
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It's true I've got no shirts to wear It's true my butcher's bill is due It's true my prospects all look blue - But don't let that unsettle you.
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If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.
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Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise.
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Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest: Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers: Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest, And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!
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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have and I think he's a dirty little beast.
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If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to provoke Him to give you, at once, a month's warning.
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Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold, And the mate of the Nancybrig, And a bos'sun tight, and a midshipmite, And the crew of the captain's gig!
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It's love that makes the world go round.
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I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.
W. S. Gilbert
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Life is a joke that's just begun.
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Wherever valor true is found, true modesty will there abound.
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