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I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Loopholes
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More quotes by W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields