Quote

I'm searching for loopholes.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Loopholes
Searching

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
Image
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
Image
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
Image
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Image
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
Image
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
Image
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Image
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
Image
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
Image
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
Image
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
Image
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
Image
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
Image
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
Image
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
Image
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields