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W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Loopholes
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More quotes by W. C. Fields

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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. Fields
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields