Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Completely
Funds
Tied
Cash
Fund
Available
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
