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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Nice
Happiness
Money
Unhappy
Places

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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