Quote

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Doe
Firsts
Need
First
Needs
Quit
Trying
Quitting
Work
Time
Idiot

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields