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W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Loopholes
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More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. Fields
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields