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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Else
Someone
Happenings
Happening
Tragedy
Merely
Comedy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
