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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Five
Sexual
Avenue
Twenty
Alleys
Twenties
Ceiling
Price
Ceilings
Lows
Avenues
Street
Barely
Bazaar
Streets
Cents
Bazaars
Called
Relief
Alley
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
