Quote

The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Public
Tails
Business
Lawyers
Give
Lawyer
Certified
Persons
Income
Devised
Giving
Taxes
Accountants
Make
Couldn
Einstein
Head
Admitted
Middle
Tail

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
Image
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Image
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
Image
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
Image
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Image
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Image
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
Image
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
Image
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
Image
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
Image
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
Image
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Image
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
Image
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
Image
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Image
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Image
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
W. C. Fields
Image
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields