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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Public
Tails
Business
Lawyers
Give
Lawyer
Certified
Persons
Income
Devised
Giving
Taxes
Accountants
Make
Couldn
Einstein
Head
Admitted
Middle
Tail
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
