Quote

My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Think
Hand
Shouldn
Disapproval
Thinking
Hands
Throw
Brick
Littles
Complete
Slap
Little
Stones
Bricks
Right
Daughter
Shaking
Giving
Wants
Villain
Even
Head
Throwing
Men
Stop
Stone

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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I like children - fried.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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