Quote

It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Hours
Assorted
Funny
Mighty
Come
Colors
Thing
Curious
Things
Travel
World
Couple
Color
Wonderful

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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