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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Pieces
Hanging
Cities
Town
Lying
Towns
Upon
Piece
Bigs
Laugh
Every
Lies
Always
City
Nearby
People
Laughing
Idiocy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
