Quote

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
People
Laughing
Idiocy
Pieces
Hanging
Cities
Town
Lying
Towns
Upon
Piece
Bigs
Laugh
Every
Lies
Always
City
Nearby

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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I like children - fried.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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