Quote

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Lying
Towns
Upon
Piece
Bigs
Laugh
Every
Lies
Always
City
Nearby
People
Laughing
Idiocy
Pieces
Hanging
Cities
Town

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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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